May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
