i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
