I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
