some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
