Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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