Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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