Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
