matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
