I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
