I can text with my tongue
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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