I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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