No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize