I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
