I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
