Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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