He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
