i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish you could order shots online.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Two words: blizzard sex
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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