I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize