i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
