Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
