i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize