Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
