she looked like the before picture.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
