remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
