OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
