do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
