Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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