Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
