she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
