I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
