Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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