Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize