he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the room spins SO much faster in panama
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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