I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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