he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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