no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
