i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
