I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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