can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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