Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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