i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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