I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
