Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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