White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
