I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
