i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm passing your future prison.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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