two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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