I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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