Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
