you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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