Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
