Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
