Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
