i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My ass is underappreciated
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
