God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
