Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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