Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
