That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
