Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
