Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
